Join Us!

Join The Church of the Holy Meatball

The Church of the Holy Meatball is as legitimate as every other world religion. You too can be a Ballitarian!

Want to join The Church? Just eat meat (preferably meatballs), and follow as many of the Church tenets as possible.

Tenets of The Church:

  1. Know ye that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Creator of the Universe
  2. Accept the Holy Meatball as your personal savior
  3. Read the Book of Johnny (Blessed be His memory - BbHm)
  4. Wear a fork around your neck
  5. Drink whisky (preferably Scotch, it was Johnny's favorite)
  6. Eat meat, especially meatballs

Vegans and vegetarians may be Supporters, but may not become members of The Church. Vegetarianism is blasphemy. Z'all!

Church Blessings:

  • May the fork be with you
  • May the Holy Meatball fill you with meat everlasting

And remember, the Church of the Holy Meatball is as legitimate as every other religion. As with other religions, the Church understands that not all members can faithfully follow all of the tenets all of the time. Everybody sins from time to time. Z'all!

The roots of the Church of the Holy Meatball rest in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please watch the educational video below to learn more about the Mother Church.

Sabbath Days and Holy Days:

  • Spirit Days are taken the day following the consumption of Spaghetti and Meatballs. Spaghetti and Meatballs should be consumed as frequently as possible. Work should be avoided on Spirit Days.
  • Ballitarian Sabbath begins at sunset every Friday and ends at sunrise Monday. Work should be avoided on the Sabbath days.
  • Good Friday commemorates the Sacrifice of the Holy Meatball and falls on the first Friday after the full moon following the March equinox.
  • Passthrough is a celebration of the Path of the Holy Meatball. Passthrough begins at sunrise of Good Friday and concludes at sunset of Miracle Monday.
  • Miracle Monday occurs on the Monday following Good Friday and celebrates the resurrection of the Holy Meatball and His return to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
  • First Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of October and continues until sunrise on Tuesday.
  • Second Thanksgiving begins on the fourth Thursday of November. The festivities continue through the Sabbath
  • Festival Week begins at sunrise of the Monday of the week of December 25th, and continues until sunrise of the following Monday.

Hymn of the Church of the Holy Meatball

The Creation Story
Courtesy of the Mother Church

Let your colleagues know that you are a Ballitarian by using official Church artwork as your Windows background image.

Free Screen Background

Background computer display screen for the Church of the Holy Meatball

Download a printable brochure